In my latest book “Letters to My Daughter,” I tell the story of how God moved into my family’s life after my wife tragically passed away. This incredible challenge left me to raise my special-needs daughter Faith on my own.
The last part of the book includes a series of letters to Faith designed to prepare this 6-year-old child to live the rest of her life without her mom. I finish the book by writing one final letter to my late wife of 23 years, Michelle, part of which I include below:
“Dear Michelle,
“I remember the day I asked you to marry me. We walked to the park near my grandmother’s house, where we spent so much time together. When we arrived, we sat at the picnic table where we had so many rich conversations.
“Nervous, I wondered if you were going to say “yes” to my proposal. It was a cool autumn night, but I was sweating from anxiety.
“As I reached into my pocket and knelt on one knee, the moment of truth had arrived. I mustered all the confidence I could and asked, “Will you marry me?” Your response was priceless: “I guess.” While I took that as a reluctant “yes,” it was good enough for me. You confirmed that you wanted to be my wife.
“Over those years, the way you loved me, the patience you showed me, the care you extended to me all made me the man I am today. …
“… In many ways, I am a product of your ministry as my wife. You always took that role seriously and lived it out so wonderfully. You were a helpmate to me. You offered advice and encouraged me when I became discouraged.
“For the last six years of your life you were able to experience what your heart longed for all your life, which was to be a mother. You were the best. You took your job seriously. This was a role that you were destined to play.
“You served Faith sacrificially just as you did me. The day you died, you were not feeling well.
“Yet despite your feelings, you took Faith to the park. This was a fitting way to end your time on earth. You could share one last special moment with the daughter you loved. Going to the park was something you two used to love to do together. Faith still talks about the fun she had.
“Not long ago, I asked Faith what Mommy was now doing since she was in heaven. Her response was priceless. She said you were singing and dancing. Then her face lit up as if she caught a glimpse of what you were enjoying in heaven.
“Then she revealed the impact you made in her. She said, ‘Mommy is proud of me.’
“This was made possible because, for you, the glass was always half-full instead of half-empty. You didn’t set limitations for Faith. You allowed her to discover the limitations on her own.
“You had a knack for nurturing her special interests. Things like coloring, painting, and reading were things she loved to do. You coached her in how to do those things better and praised her when she did. These things instilled in her the assurance that her mom was proud of her. As a result, she will accomplish so much more in life because you took time to pour into her.
“It now has been nearly two years since you passed away, and I have a void that I have been praying to be filled. I no longer have a helpmate to walk beside me, and Faith no longer has a mother to love her unconditionally and pour into her.
“When you were going through the cancer scare, we talked about what I should do if you were to pass away. You strongly encouraged me to find someone else.
“I now have followed your advice and entered the world of dating, and what a world it is. People no longer meet at church or even in their hometown, for that matter. They meet online.
“You read bios and send smiles. The method is very shallow and consumer-driven. I am trusting God to put me together with the right one. I refuse to settle for second best.
“This is very difficult for me to do since I loved you so much, but I am writing to say goodbye. I want to thank you again for the 23 wonderful years we spent together and the impact you made in my life. We were truly one flesh, as I already mentioned. Yet this connection must be severed so I can find someone with whom I can build that same bond.
“As I search for a wife, I do so with Faith in mind. We are a package deal.
“The woman I marry must love Faith as if she is her own and love Jesus with all her heart. This person is out there somewhere. I just need to find her. I am trusting God to lead me to her.
“He gave me you. After all, you asked me out the first time. You made it easy for me. Maybe it will be that way again. Whatever the case, I look forward to seeing you one day in eternity where we will all be together again.
“Love, Tim”
Tim Orr of Taylorsville is an adjunct faculty member in religious studies at IUPUC, where he has served for more than 10 years. Information presented in this article reflects his 20-plus years of experience in multicultural ministry and the truths he has gleaned over the years from reading many of Tim Keller books and listening to his sermons. Orr’s website at timorr.net.
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What: Author Tim Orr signing copies of his book “Letters to My Daughter” about dealing with the loss of his wife Michelle, and “We Named Her Faith” about how God brought special-needs daughter Faith to him and his wife.
When: 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. June 16.
Where: Viewpoint Books, corner of Sixth and Washington streets in downtown Columbus.
Information: timorr.net or the Facebook page for Viewpoint Books.
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