Borgman
Each year it starts just a little bit earlier than the year before. There was a time when the hoopla didn’t begin until November. Then it slowly filled October and spilled over into September.
Pumpkin spice. It’s an all-out invasion.
Coffee shops and doughnut shops have traditionally led the charge, but now pumpkin spice is in Cheerios, cheese curds and face masks.
Did I mention pumpkin pie Pop Tarts?
Perhaps you would be interested in some Native Pumpkin Spice Latte Deodorant. Yep, you can pumpkin spice your underarms. If that doesn’t say the holidays are around the corner, I don’t know what does.
Even dogs are lapping up the pumpkin spice craze. You can buy pumpkin spice dental treats for your pooch.
Oh, there now kitty, kitty, don’t get pouty. There’s pumpkin spice for you, too — pumpkin spice scented litter boxes.
Seriously? Do we really want to take all the fragrances of warmth and goodness associated with fall and the holidays and dump them into the litter box?
Yes, we do!
Pumpkin spice is all you can taste, see and smell everywhere you go — pumpkin spice ice cream, pumpkin spice Werther’s caramels, pumpkin spice Life cereal, pumpkin spice Cliff bars, pumpkin spice yogurt pretzels and pumpkin spice applesauce.
Oh, and, drum roll, please … pumpkin spice Kraft Mac and Cheese. It was such a hit in Canada that it is coming to the U.S. Yes, cheesy goodness with notes of cinnamon, nutmeg and allspice may soon be available near you. Perhaps the blue box mac and cheese will come in orange.
How about some pumpkin spice marshmallows on that s’more? Or in your hot chocolate? No? Maybe some pumpkin spice coconut milk, a pumpkin spice bagel, pumpkin spice Peeps or pumpkin spice mini-wheats?
Spam and hummus now come in pumpkin spice, too. Ditto for Pringles.
If you still don’t have enough pumpkin spice in your life, try some pumpkin spice toothpaste.
Salmon? Yes, pumpkin spice salmon. It’s so odd, it might be good.
Kale chips and Toll House chips have also jumped on the pumpkin spice bandwagon. Sounds like a party mix to me.
Burt’s Bees lip balm — pumpkin spice. Seems the bees ought to have some say in promoting a squash instead of honey or beeswax.
Even concrete comes in pumpkin spice. That’s color, not scent. (I think.)
Welcome to our pumpkin spice home, where you will be inundated with the color of pumpkin spice on the driveway and walkway, overpowered by pumpkin spice fragrance from the kitchen to the bathroom and our armpits, and every single food in the house will taste like pie.
At the rate we are going, in another few years pumpkin spice latte will be the national drink and a pumpkin will replace the eagle on the national seal.
As that short kid in the zig zag shirt who helped launch this whole trend would say, “Good grief.”
Lori Borgman is a columnist, author and speaker. Send comments to [email protected].
