The rash of violence in our community over the past few weeks has been heartbreaking. But I don’t think it is all that surprising.
For years now, we have witnessed people grow increasingly hostile and belligerent. Many times, it is over trivial things. People have been murdered on Interstate 65 due to nothing more than a mistake while driving — we have all made them. We have seen fights, threats, and abusive behavior at school board meetings and baseball games. People feel like they can threaten and scream at employees at stores and restaurants.
Experts will point to myriad causes, too. There are more guns than ever in American society. Whatever side of the Second Amendment issue you stand on, it is clear that guns are in the hands of people who should not have them.
“Stand your ground” laws have emboldened people to fight rather than find other solutions.
We are also in the midst of a drug crisis, so it is impossible to know if someone you encounter today might be high or desperate enough to do anything to get their next fix. It is also clear that our society is struggling to help people with mental health issues.
Across the country, we have all seen stories of people who have been shot for getting into the wrong car or pulling up to the wrong house. In South Carolina, a young mother was murdered in front of her children over a dispute about a parking space at a grocery store. Rather than use their brains and speak a few words to someone, some people have decided to shoot first.
The only way that we can fix this is if we, as a nation, as a community, and as individuals, decide to deescalate tense situations rather than do our Dirty Harry impression. Looking to defuse a situation when we feel threatened doesn’t come naturally. We may have to consciously practice this every day, in each situation.
Maybe that doesn’t sound very macho, but take the advice of someone who knows a lot more about fighting than I do, former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink. Willink advises that the best form of self-defense is to run away. In interviews and in his writings, he urges people to get away rather than throw a punch or grab a gun or knife.
Willink argues that once the violence escalates, too many unpredictable things can happen. You might be outgunned or outnumbered. You might end up in the hospital, jail, or morgue. You might get sued and be ruined financially. Willink even says that the SEALs, who are some of our nation’s best fighters, would rather avoid a fight but still accomplish their mission. They would rather achieve their objectives, break contact with their enemy, and get home safely.
I am embarrassed to say that there have been a few times in my life when I have escalated a situation instead of looking for an exit. And I’ve regretted it. When I have gotten away from a potentially dangerous situation without any harm, I’ve thanked my lucky stars — even if I have had to swallow my pride and keep my mouth shut.
Bad driving, petty jealousies, political differences of opinion, or trying to look like a tough guy are simply not worth the risk of injury or death. De-escalate or defuse a situation rather than fight.
Run away if you have to. Follow Jocko’s advice. Remember your mission: go home safely tonight to be with your loved ones.
Aaron Miller is one of The Republic’s community columnists and all opinions expressed are those of the writer. He has a doctorate in history and is an associate professor of history at Ivy Tech Community College-Columbus. Send comments to [email protected].
